one of the most cruel habits of humanity...

is that people fuck with each other for fun.
or power.
some sort of fucked up game that has a winner. and a loser. none of this equal bullshit.
the victim?
she in love.
the guilty?
she once in love.
tis true that we all do it. play games. see how much we can successfully control one another. manipulate.
so if i was once the manipulator i have since been demoted. conquered. fucking cast aside that role of the one in control.
have lost that control. have lost that confidence that yields. captures. understands. power.
is power necessary? yes. well...maybe not necessary. but certain. these games. there is no equal relationship. on micro macro or any other scale to draw a parallel with.
nope.
it's all fucked up.
and so are we all.
the one aspect to it all that really makes it abhorrable, however, is that usually. or i may say...in my case. once that power is realized. the less it is excercized. the power is in the acknowledgement of such. not the excecution of the force.
and that, my friends. my enemies. everyone. is why i am now defeated. failed to use that power when i knew i had it, and when it was lost, was (am being) crushed with the same weight i once held.
congrat u fucking lations.

once again.
fuck you for your untouchable face.
fuck you for existing in the first place.
but.
i still love you.
i still even like you.
i still need you.

but who are you?