alienation lessens the blow

true, isn't it?
pull away, even push away, and things become easier, so it seems.
but do these things actually become easier, or are we just safeguarding ourselves? taking the easy way. seems quite logical, but so fucking stupid.
is not our duty to try and pursue that depth that we rarely reach? maybe never find? see what our minds are truly capable? our hearts? what can we do? who can we reach? where is that 90% of untouched genious? that part of the heart that we only recognize during hurt?

i believe we can find it.
so pushing away. is killing that opportunity. speak without words, listen with no sound. that's what i am here for. to see what i am capable as. as a member of humanity. as an individual friend lover thinker.
i can do more. and i can see but not touch. which excites that frustration that it is indeed untouchable. but i cannot buy that. cannot. i refuse to think that i am incapable of more. not just more but so much more. when i get that glimpse. of other. of else. of different. it is


magic.

we can become magic. we can create what does not exist within the defined. and that is amazing. that is why i refuse to push away, but must push on. must keep trying. even if it is in only the preservation of you. because i see all of this. all of this magic. in me. in your shadow.

and i know i will see it in another's, and another's in mine.