the binge ends.

the binge stops here. after a smoke, a drink, and some thoughts.

time to break down and do. stop being a waste of fresh air.

here we go.
i love meeting new people, doing new things, all that jazz.
however, i enjoy the simplicity of sticking with what you know and who you love.
that night in on friday with popcorn and some stupid movie. no worries.
i like the challenge of being out there, too, though. i guess it's a balance i can't quite equate.

it is possible that i'll look back on these years and say that i didn't get enough out of the opportunity with which i was presented, but i won't believe me.
i know now that everything i sacrifice for what i get is worth that getting.
all of it. pretty ugly and evil. i might be those three things. i think i am. at least right now.

sometimes i stay awake all night, heart racing uncomfortably, thinking about undone laundry, untold stories, and unhinged ideas. really every night. trying to train myself back into the comforts of myself at ease. that's a place i'm not too familiar with. but i enjoy it so very much.

i should go back there. it shouldn't take much work. i should stop thinking about it.

what does thinking do, anyhow, but cloud the emotions that are our base of being?
maybe too much thought for a 2am binge-ending manifesto. problems on elm street. which is every street.