baby right now poetry just wouldnt do me justice
all of the rhyming and forced syllables contain too many lines
not to cross--don't venture too far into truth in such a public space
they might start to know you
this is where bullshit comes in
bullshit

know me through words you say you think you do and i say fuck you
words don't do it you have to see me write them
you have to feel me know them
because i can word what i want but you can't see the flushed cheeks that reveal my bluff
which is the ease we feel
the absolute safety we find in pens and pencils
the beauty, we say, of the written word

but call that fucking bluff. tell them.
tell me.
to tell you in person what i said just moments ago on this white pixelated piece of shit
i'll tell you nothing
not the word, asshole,
i'll not say a word because tongues are held faster and stronger by fear that comes from the cloud surrounding our souls than it does through will

if only we had a physical means of whisping that cloud away
changing that weather
and being honest
for more than one defining shining moment.
we create ideas within us to justify what we are feeling
because we can not expose to others those true feelings
yeah. you're right. words do exist to describe anything. it's their lack of use where humanity fails the vice.

don't tell me differently. i know you know that we are thwarted by this teeth to tongue trick that we were taught- age three- when we wanted to speak out against our unjust mother. should me-as three-not correct her? after all, my lenz is so hideously different from hers. she doesn't see that my fuse is shortening, my innocence running, my trust in what i believe, my ability to communicate- is only crushed by her rules. and that fucking continues. by and by. until now. when we are free from others but so ruled by our own fear. so goddamn ruled.

maybe i want to say something. maybe i want to but don't for fear of ill response. or lack of agreement which makes me cry now- and would then, too. that idea is so frightful that it makes me cry now- what would my stomach feel should it be realized in the realm of what we deem real life? now that's how hearts race. feel it? i figured you wouldn't...or am i just pissing you off?

maybe you sense anger- wonderful. because i feel it. since 18 hours ago. that's a long time to hold a grudge that has no definition nor reason nor validity. time for correction.